30 May 2013

God doesn't think She's a doctor, so how come doctors think they're God?

Dr. Ego wrote a letter to my doctor and copied me on it. Gist? There's nothing wrong with me that a little counselling couldn't fix. Literally, he said, "Despite her protestations, I suspect that Ms. FCS is suffering from stress, and could benefit from counselling"

Dr. Ego? I already get counselling. He didn't ask. I fully well and truly believe that everyone would benefit from counselling. Everyone. So yeah, I'm already doing that, but whatever. I just hope my doctor doesn't take his words as gold. If she does, I'll inform her that Dr. Ego said that she was stupid for sending me to him in the first place. "These gps. So stupid. They have no idea that these numbers [out of range labs] are normal. So they waste my time sending perfectly healthy people to me."


Forgive me Comrades, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last blogpost. And that was a screaming rant. I'll get down on my knees... wait? Is this still the confessional?!

Okay. I'm a bit off today, OBVS. :) Crackle and Pop have been sick. Right. So then, back to puking kids. Crackle and Pop are so different, in every way. Even how they puke. Pop politely asks for a pail and then delicately pukes. Crackle does something worthy of a horror movie. Isn't motherhood glamorous? :)
Tony's had it too. I'm holding it all together, and as soon as they're better, I have plans to fall the fuck apart. The last couple of weeks have been blood and vomit-filled. Doctor visits... DIGRESSION ALERT!

I saw a new doctor yesterday. An endocrinologist. A man with the ego the size of Minneapolis (I don't know why I picked Minneapolis, it was the first city that popped into my head. Aren't there cities in Canada I could have chosen? Probably.) Right. So Dr Ego is an old white man, which I think leads him to believe he can be a condescending prick if he so chooses. Some snippets of the appointment:

Dr Ego: What disease have they put into you?
Me: Ha! (thinking, okay, this guy could be all right!) Good question. I think they want you to answer that though.
Dr Ego: Whatever it is, you don't have it. You're fine.
Me: Well, that's good to hear, but since I'm here anyway...
Dr. Ego: Yeah, I might as well go through the motions. Ya never know. There are some outliers. But I can tell you now, you're fine. I can tell by looking.
Me... Uh...
My brain: ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP! No, wait, you'll get a good post out of this. Stay and take notes!

About 4 minutes later:
Dr. Ego: So, you work out a lot, do you?
Me: Yes. I go for long hikes up steep hills, quite regularly. If it's not pouring, about 4 times a week.
Dr. Ego: And you can't lose weight?*
Me: Nope. Nothing seems to help.
Dr. Ego: You eat too much.
Me: No, I don't.
Dr. Ego: Yes, you do.
Me: No. I don't. Because of the Celiac, I've been with a dietician off and on. I eat 1200-1500 calories per day, and ...
Dr Ego Interrupticus: I doubt it.
Me: Excuse me?
Dr Ego: Well, what kind of calories?
Me: Oh, so that matters now? Well, I'm about 95% vegan.
Dr Ego the Super Douchecanoe: *mutterssomethingthatsoundslikebullshit*

*I didn't actually tell him I wanted to lose weight either. He assumed it since I weigh about 180 lbs.

Dr. Ego: So your daughter has Hashimoto's?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Ego: What is Hashimoto's? (He's an endocrinologist; this is his specialty. This is clearly designed to find out what I think it is, not ignorance)
Me: It's an autoimmune disease that...
Dr. Ego Interrupticus: NO. It is not a disease. (also)
Me: Okay... Disorder?
Dr. Ego: NO. It's a condition.
Me: Okay... autoimmune condition then.

Dr. Ego: You're tired because you have 4 kids.
Me: 3. Only 3.
Dr. Ego: Then why did you put 4 on the form?
Me: I didn't.
Dr. Ego: Yes, you did.
Me: No. I didn't.
Dr. Ego, flipping through the papers, muttering, 'well, I didn't read it wrong': Oh. Yes, 3.

Dr Ego: Your memory recall is fine.
Me: Not really. I can't remember my own doctor's name, right now.
Dr. Ego: Well, you're getting older.
Me: I'm 38! And this was fine last year!
Dr. Ego: You're not as young as you used to be.

Dr. Ego: Beware of the crap on the internet. There are a lot of idiots out there.
My brain: And in here. Also, those idiots are my friends. (Hi idiots!)
Me: Yes. I know. I'm a researcher, or I was, anyway, and I can weed out the good stuff from the crap.
Dr. Ego. Don't worry yourself with this stuff though. Just stay off the internet.
Me: No, I'm a researcher by nature, and I will worry more if I don't understand. I know good research from a bunch of morons jawing on a bulletin board.
Dr. Ego. I doubt that very much.
Me: Well, that's your call.

And, my favourite:
Dr. Ego: The amount of gluten in Synthroid can't hurt someone with celiac disease. It's tiny.
Me: Any amount of gluten is dangerous to someone with Celiac disease.
Dr. Ego: That's simply not true. That amount would not be noticed by the body.
Me: That has not been my experience.
Dr. Ego: It just doesn't work that way.

*sigh* THEN, he had the nerve to tell me that other doctors mismanage Hashimoto's terribly, and that I should get my daughter a referral to him. Um. Look. I have thick skin. I left there laughing about this guy. If I took Snap there, one of three things would likely happen:

Scenario 1: Snap shuts down entirely and refuses to answer him. Eventually starts to cry. Doesn't stop for hours.
Scenario 2: Snap tells him to fuck off and die, storms out, and leaves me standing there. Then cries for hours afterward
Scenario 3: Snap grudgingly answers questions, and then is utterly furious with me for a week for taking her to him. Any new attempts to get her to a new doctor are ignored.

Okay, that was a long digression. But necessary. This old man decided by looking at me that a) Nothing was wrong with me; b) I eat too much and am too stupid to know how much that is; c) I'm too stupid to use the internet responsibly, know how many kids I have, know what is normal for myself or know what my own body is doing with gluten.

As in any walk of life, there are good doctors and bad doctors. And this week, the medical profession lost a good one in Dr. Morgentaler. What a man. He didn't dismiss women as stupid and punish them for being pregnant. He listened to what we needed and fought to make it legal for us to have autonomy of our own bodies. I am so happy that he had the courage to do what he did. Making abortion legal for women across Canada was stunning. Opening in St. John's, to hundreds of protesters, so that women had better access? Amazing. This man saved so many women's lives, it is truly humbling. Rest in Peace, good sir.

15 May 2013

4 more years of fucking the poor

I am really angry this morning. Not as angry as I was last night (because I'm not drunk any more), but really angry. And if this were my other blog, I'd talk myself through that, but I'm in no mood to be rational. Because I'm scared. The LibCons just won another majority. Strong majority. And 48% of eligible voters just flat out didn't show up. Assholes. I hope it's their jobs that are lost.

What the fucking hell is wrong with people?! These are the assholes that gave us the HST, the HST that we got angry about and successfully repealed. Have we forgotten that? These are the pus-filled assholes that cut funding for the disabled OVER AND OVER AGAIN. These are the festering fuckholes who cut autism funding. Who made getting welfare even more demoralizing than it already is. Who sold BC rail under a cloud of scandal and RCMP raids on the legislature. Who utterly decimated the legal aid system. They are going to destroy the environment with fracking and a pipeline. They tore up contracts between the HEU and the government, creating a clusterfuck in the hospitals. Child poverty in BC is worse than in any other province. They don't even sit the legislature! These are the heartless sonsofbastards who cut funding for physiotherapy for injured poor people to once a month (I cried for hours when they did that, because I knew how much pain I would be in within a week. I was wrong. I was in more pain than I thought). And cut podiatry entirely, so you know, fuck the elderly poor people too. I could go on! And someone else did.

But you know, fuck the poor. Fuck the disabled. Fuck children. Fuck the law. Fuck unions. Fuck good quality wages. Fuck the environment. We want... I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

What are these fuckwads any good for? The economy isn't shit hot. They keep inflating it with schemes like requiring stratas to have depreciation reports so that they have to hire contractors in order to fix shit up so that they can sell. Yeah, that's wonderful for the contractors. Not so awesome for small stratas who were fixing things slowly on their own terms. Like mine. Two units out of 23 in mine are going to lose their homes because of the BC Liberal scheme. And I have to come up with $20,000 by June 2. Lucky me.

Honestly, what in the hell is the appeal of these assholes?! Low taxes? Are people that goddamn stupid? Our income taxes are artificially low because Medical Services Plan (MSP) is separate. We actually pay MORE tax if MSP is factored in. What a load of shit.

So yeah, this is the angry bitter lefty. FURIOUS about the harm these "Liberal" motherfuckers are doing to the poor and the earth. I hope each and every one of them gets exactly what they deserve.

edited to add:
In truth, I blame the NDP voters for a) not showing up; b) electing Dix as leader. What the motherfuck were they thinking? Oh, the Libs won't bring up that whole backdating a memo thing... I'm sure the electorate will have forgotten and just won't care. If Horgan had been elected, we'd be celebrating Premier Horgan.

02 May 2013

Autism, hope, help and useless governments

Yesterday, there was a piece in the news about a woman who dropped her 19 year old autistic son with the government and left. Oh how I feel for her! What a heartbreaking decision that must have been. She had no hope left. And no resources to give her any respite from it. I suppose she clings to hope that this will be a better situation for all of them. I am praying for her. And all the parents and caregivers who are at the end of their ropes. I'm voting for the NDP, because they promise more help than anyone else. And I'm writing to everyone who might be able to help.

Here in BC, the situation isn't much better once your child turns 19. There's no more autism funding. There's $905/mo in disability welfare, that you can use as you see fit (this is assuming the 19 year old is unable to manage his or her own money at all, like in the case above where he functions at the level of a two year old). Depending on the person's needs, that may not cover even a quarter of what is needed. It costs me and the government combined (my own cash + autism funding + respite + distance ed school disability grant) about $3500/mo for Crackle - my most seriously disabled child. When he turns 19, his needs will not change. But we will lose all but $905/mo of his funding. Here's hoping his needs change considerably by then!

Crackle has been particularly loud for a few weeks. The kind of loud that makes my eardrums throb by days end. Not exaggerating. Days like these are the ones that make me truly understand how someone could lose it and say "Enough. I cannot do this any more". But I have hope. And he's only 7. And he likes to cuddle with me in the morning. And he's learned to kiss me. Hugs me when I ask. And even when he's screaming, he's happy. I think.

Yesterday, the woman who spends 6 hours a day here quit. Gave 30 days notice. Eep. The day before, my strata voted for a $20,000 levy from each unit so that we can do major renovations. That's right. I have to come up with Twenty Thousand Dollars. By June 3. The whole summer will be filled with renovation noise. Crackle loses it when the gardener mows the laws. Or when the vacuum is running. So, we will have to go spend time in the forest. But... the SEA quit. EEP. And to top it all off, my ultrasound revealed that my already serious gallstone problem has developed into intrahepatic dilatation (the stones may be backing up into my liver) and so I'll probably need surgery sooner rather than later (or never, as I had planned). And now there's no one to help.

Furthermore, I promised Snap a trip to VidCon in August (already mostly paid for - non-refundable) and I'm going to the Son-Rise Maximum Impact class in October (already half paid for - non-refundable, but possibly delay-able).

So, if you're the praying sort, I could use a few prayers. I don't think that God just drops in loads of cash, but maybe God could nudge some help my way? Hint hint, Old Dude In the Sky! Or Pretty Lady in the Forest. Whatever you're calling yourself this week.

I still have my hope. But I'm rapidly running out of patience. :)

x-posted to No False Hope (I don't usually x-post, but this one fit both blogs so well, I couldn't figure out where to post it and figured both would work nicely)